The beginning: Ben There Done That

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Welcome to the first installment of “Ben There Done That,” a monthly column in which we — Bens Small and Poulios — recount an adventure or experience we had during the month. For this issue, we went to the Glastonbury Apple Harvest Festival.

But first: some brief thoughts on the “Pre-Hewett day” food truck. It was good. Probably worth waiting in the line. The constant jostling and cutting, however, was a con. Trust us that being in the midst of a hoard of hungry teenagers is not fun, especially when you yourself are hungry and tired from a long school week. The truffle mac-and-cheese cubes were particularly good and were very welcome, as it was very chilly out.

Following the free food, we and some friends — seniors Ananya Alleyne, Jason Meizels and Katherine Mikaelson — embarked on our apple adventure.  

Because this excursion was pretty “spur-of-the-moment,” we were all not dressed very warmly, which was pretty unfortunate. Anyway, after making it through the gates and getting some warm apple cider, we made a beeline for the “pub” area, which was partitioned from the rest of the fair by some neatly-pruned hedges and some signs reminding fair-goers to be mindful where they put their trash. Never fear, we didn’t go there to drink. We’re all good kids and students after all… We were only able to get in because Ben’s mom was dutifully volunteering there with other members of the Connecticut River Valley Chamber of Commerce.

The merry-go-round then caught our attention, and we mounted our respective steeds with grace and poise. For some – however – the dismount was a little more “iffy,” to say least. As the cyclical rodeo came to gear-grinding halt, we went off to take some pictures. We had to document that we were actually at the fair and actually on our designated KO News mission.

Our failure to produce a September “Ben There Done That” column raised much doubt and trepidation amongst the KO populace. Not to name names, but several fellow KO News Editors openly expressed their dubiousness. We personally received many anxious emails and phone calls from Mr. Bisgaard, Mr. Dillow, and Mr. Obama. All of whom voiced their concern at length.

To both our fans and haters, we would like to assure you that — rain or shine — “Ben There Done That” is here, and it’s here to stay. In fact, we are already preparing for next year when we will be both away at college. We invite anyone with the first name “Ben” to apply for this very prestigious position. Applications may be emailed or hand-written.

Anyway, after the ride on ceramic and colorful equestrians, we resolved to try a more adventurous ride. We saw one with swings dangling down that spins really fast and rises like 50 feet in the air.

We stood in line for about 10 minutes, our feet squelching around in the muddy grass. After 10 minutes, we realized we weren’t actually standing in line and gave up.

We ambled through the fair, trying to avoid the wet earth. Alas, our efforts were met with few successes. At one point during our trek, we were completely and utterly conned by a man proffering giant and oddly-deranged-looking teddy bears as prizes. We had five practice attempts — free-of-charge — to throw a ball into a bucket without hitting the back. After being peer-pressured, Ananya gave it a valiant effort. Alas: five dollars went down the drain.

Even though the con man was trying to convince us that we should give it another try, we realized that the marginal cost was greater than the marginal benefit, and we could just buy a bear for the same price at Costco or some other giant Teddy bear retailer.

We made our way from the con-artists’ lair: heads held high. You can never let those overly charismatic salespeople get you down. If you do, they’ve truly won.

We eventually circled back to the giant swing ride amd resolved to do it. We found the correct line this time and, after fending off several gaggles of preteens, clicked into our seats. It was oddly calming and soothing as we spun around, gaining a new view of the fair, which leered beneath.

Throughout the night, we came and went from the pub, much to the chagrin of the women guarding the entrance and the woe-begotten fair-goers who wound up in the enclosure.

Overall, despite the long lines, muddy ground, and low temperatures, we wholeheartedly enjoyed the fair. It was a great way to spend time with friends and get a much-needed dose of adrenaline.

We hope you’ve enjoyed this installment of “Ben There Done That.” It’s Ben a great time writing to you.