As the daughter of an immigrant, I have always felt closely connected to the immigrant community. Immigration is often discussed in headlines and debates, but I want to focus on the people and stories behind those conversations. While immigration is sometimes portrayed negatively, especially in today’s climate, there are countless individuals who have built meaningful, successful lives and ultimately strengthened the communities around them.
This column is meant to give immigrants in our community a space to share their stories. We do not know enough about where our classmates and their families come from, and hearing those experiences can help us see each other more clearly and personally. Below are a few questions that guided this month’s story, drawn from my conversation with Zinnal Desai, mother of junior Zil Desai.
1. Where did you grow up, and what was your life like there? What prompted you to leave?
Ms. Desai grew up in Mumbai, India, surrounded by constant movement and people. Life there was centered around connection rather than technology. “It’s a very busy city life where you go outside and play with kids outside,” Ms. Desai said. “There was no electronics in India…we had human contact. That’s how we knew each other.”
Because of this, Ms. Desai has been shaped by the people around her for her entire life. “I came to the U.S. because my parents decided to move to the US,” she said. “[They] came here for a better opportunity…my dad thought that his kids would have a better life in the U.S. than in India.”
2. What do you remember most about the moment you decided to come to the U.S.?
The move to the United States is something Ms. Desai still recalls through a single moment: the journey itself. “I remember the plane ride,” she said. “It was my very first time flying anywhere.” Leaving a dense, familiar city for an entirely new country made the experience feel distant and unfamiliar.
When she arrived, that excitement met an unexpected first impression. “As excited as I was to be in the U.S., the New York airport did not impress me at all,” she said. It was the beginning of a shift from the crowded rhythm of Mumbai’s city life to the quieter pace she would later experience in suburban Connecticut.
3. Can you walk me through your journey to becoming a permanent resident/citizen?
Ms. Desai’s path to citizenship unfolded over time as she built her life in the United States. “I became a U.S. citizen by marrying a man who was a citizen,” she said, after first living in the country as a green card holder. The process required learning and adapting to a new system that was very different from the one she grew up with.
“To become a citizen, you have to learn U.S. history and facts and laws,” she said, describing the preparation involved. Part of the process included an interview with basic civic questions, testing knowledge of the country she was joining. It was another step in a longer journey of settling into a new home while adjusting to life far from where she started.
4. What was the biggest culture shock you experienced? What felt familiar and what felt completely different?
Moving from Mumbai to the United States meant adjusting to a completely different everyday environment. “Culture shock is normal,” Ms. Desai said. One of the biggest differences she noticed was the freedom in how people, especially women, present themselves. “It is for a woman to wear whatever they want,” she said, “like shorts or sleeveless shirts. It’s not something in India.”
In India, she explained, social judgment often shaped appearance and behavior. “In India, everybody judges…you always make sure you are put together before you leave the house,” Ms. Desai said. That expectation felt very different in the United States. “That’s not how it is in the U.S., and that surprised me,” she said.
She also noticed a change in everyday interactions, especially in suburban life. “The other thing was how polite people are…random people are smiling at you,” she said, describing small moments that stood out after growing up in a much busier city environment.
5. How has your identity changed (or stayed the same) since moving here? What parts of your culture have you held on to the most?
After 26 years in the United States, Ms. Desai describes her identity as something shaped by both cultures. “I’ve been in the US 26 years now…I can say I’ve been more American than Indian,” she said, noting differences in her language and accent over time. “My language changed…I don’t have as much of an accent anymore.” She did note that parts of it still come through at times.
Even with those changes, she continues to hold onto strong cultural traditions. “I’m 90% and 10% still Indian because I still hold onto some of my festivities,” Ms. Desai said. Festivals like Holi and Diwali remain central to her family life.
She also described how those traditions continue in new ways with her children. “Zil and I just started Bollywood dancing,” she shared. Through family and community, she continues to maintain a connection to her roots while raising her children in a very different environment.
6. What does ‘home’ mean to you now?
For Ms. Desai, after moving from Mumbai to suburban Connecticut and building a life centered on family, home has become less about place and more about people. “Home is where family is,” she said, “not what country you live in.”
