OK News – KO News

KO to utilize hostile architecture to enforce social distancing

November 6, 2020November 3, 2020Mary Ellen Carroll

The rumours are true: Kingswood Oxford will be implementing anti-homeless architecture techniques to encourage social distancing. “I don’t see anything about this that could go wrong,” said a source close to administration. “I mean, now that we’ve closed the turf, the one place we could get freshmen to safely social distance, we’re really strapped for […]

OK students 24-hour campus return

May 6, 2020May 5, 2020Epephanie LaBoy

The day has finally come. With joy, excitement, and teen angst, the day where we students finally come back to campus has come. The day started with an assembly from OK Head of School Domas Tillow. He addressed the school with plans of how the school is going to recover from the devastating semester of […]

OK student drops out, pursues moo-ney in strawberry milk cow farm

May 6, 2020May 5, 2020Christina Lu

OK student Beefney Milkdud ’23 has decided to drop out of school and start a new research project on her cow farm. She has asked me to write one last feature to wish her off. If you don’t remember, Beefney was featured in previous articles on her ostrich coop, pigeon coop, and algae farm the […]

Student survives 73 hours stranded outside Roberts after losing keycard

February 2, 2020February 6, 2020Alma Clark

BREAKING–An Oxwood Kingsford student was rescued on the verge of pneumonia after forgetting her keycard at home. Senior Freya Fakenamé ’20 arrived at school at 8:15 a.m. on Monday, and immediately realized that she was locked out of the Roberts building. “At first I laughed it off and thought that someone would let me in,” […]

Anti-establishment student protest goes forward after being approved by 15 faculty members

February 2, 2020February 2, 2020Alma Clark

EAST HARTFARD– A rebellious underground political protest organized by students of Oxwood Kingsford school went forward after it finally passed the third stage of faculty approval. After the proposal was cleared by an initial committee of ten teachers, it was then rigorously examined by the Dean, President, Head of the Board, and school nurse. Finally, […]