I have been going to private school since I was two years old. Fourteen years of my life were made up of plaid jumpers, ties, knee highs, and blazers. From Montessori school to Catholic school to the quintessential Connecticut prep school, I have seen it all. I am not writing this article as an outsider looking in but rather as an insider looking inward. Right off the bat, I’m going to make this clear, this is satire.
In every private school, you have your normal groups. There are the kids who are too smart for their own good. They will always complain about how hard their classes are or cry when they get an A-. These kids don’t mess around, their homework is always done on time, they live off of self-deprecating humor, and they somehow look stressed but put together at the same time. Then, of course, you have the rich WASPs (a necessity of every prep school). They have a boat or two, use summer as a verb, and they have one of those Louis Vuitton coin purses attached to their BMW keys.
And of course, what would any school be without the athletes? However, this is not the most important category because everyone plays a sport. No one really cares what sport you play; nevertheless, the athletes drink an obnoxious amount of water, are either really scared or excited for practice, and always post about “game day” even if they have never won a game.
Then you have the minorities, the smallest group, somehow in predominantly white institutions (PWIs), we always find each other (kinda like reverse segregation…this time it’s a choice).
What makes prep schools interesting is the way that these groups interact with each other. You can belong to one group, belong to all four groups, or none at all. You can be part of a subgroup or leave during all of your free periods and go to Chick-Fil-A during lunch. You can be a complete ghost and a star athlete at the same time.
Throughout all my 14 years of private schooling, I have noticed one clear theme: competition.
At this point, you’re probably thinking “jeez Ashley, don’t be so dramatic.” To that, I say yes, I am dramatic, but also correct. Prep schools aren’t just like every other hormonal hotbox high school. We have opportunities just laying there for us to grab. Oh, you want to go to an Ivy League school? So do the rest of your classmates; they have been studying for the SAT since before conception. “Wait, you don’t want to tell me what you got on your English quiz? Too bad, I’m going to ask you until you give in or run away.” “I’m so stupid, I only got an A. I’m failing! Oh, you got a B? Umm, that’s good!” Prep schools serve students opportunities for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. All you have to do is make sure you get your fill before Becky with the good hair in BC Calc steals your plate.
Don’t go into a prep school and expect your life to turn into a yacht montage; this isn’t a “Gossip Girl” episode. You don’t have to be really rich or really smart or really athletic (no one here really is). A common misconception is that as soon as you get to private school you have a Cinderella-like transformation into a Vineyard Vines wearing, squash obsessed, prep kid. That’s just not true. Even though some kids are like that, you can find people with all different personalities here. Remember, the Kennedy’s are a cautionary tale, not a goal.
At this point, you may be thinking “Okay, if all this is true, what’s the point?” I can guarantee you, prep schools aren’t all doom and gloom. What is life without a little competition to drive you? And there is nothing wrong with wearing Vineyard Vines and playing squash (in theory). I may have focused on the “bad” (because I doubt this article would be interesting if I praised my education the entire time) but don’t write off prep schools entirely!
The sports games may be weak, and the school spirit is desperately lacking, but you will get a unique education. How many other kids can have a Pulitzer Prize winning author come eat dinner with them, or stay at a spa in Italy for Model UN, or have teachers that undeniably care about their education. You will have a rewarding high school experience, and you will definitely be prepared for college. If I, a prep school vet, have any advice for a newcomer, it’s this: if you be yourself, take advantage of your opportunities, and work hard, there is no doubt that you won’t succeed.
