Homecoming: An honest analysis and review

Reviews Unfiltered

I’m not going to Homecoming. Or at least that’s my stance right now. My plan for this article is to write the first half before Homecoming and the second half after, depending on whether I go or not. I have been to one dance in my entire time in high school, and it was a huge disappointment. It was my freshman year Homecoming, and I was wearing a hideous pink and black lace dress that I bought a couple of days before with straightened hair and pink wedge heels. 

After I was breathalyzed, I walked into the cafeteria. It was disgusting. It was about 30 degrees hotter than it should have been, the windows were fogged up, and everyone was drenched in sweat while screaming the words to “Sicko Mode” by Travis Scott. I’m not going to go into exact details of that night because I don’t want to, and I don’t remember it. But, someone spat ice at me, people were taking their shirts off, someone threw up, someone was picked up and then fell. To say the least, I was disappointed. 

However, I think it’s important to address my bias when writing this article. I’ve never been the biggest fan of dances, especially school dances. The floor is always sticky, people are always annoying, and I always end up leaving really mad or just disappointed. Maybe dances are where I got my semi-pessimistic attitude: expect the worst, but hope for the best. 

Currently, everyone is telling me “Omg! Ashley! You totally have to go to  Homecoming! It’s our senior year!” I’m saying this in the kindest possible way, but it could be my last year on planet earth, and I still wouldn’t want to go to that dance. President Biden himself could fly down to Connecticut and make a law saying that I had to go to Homecoming, and I would be tempted to break it. 

What even is KO Homecoming to begin with, as we don’t even have a Homecoming football game! Do alumni even visit? If not, then who is actually “coming home?” (except for me after school because I’m not going to that dance). I just don’t understand the point. Every time I ask an adult about Homecoming they always say,  “I hated those dances but I still went.” That answer is immediately followed by my asking “And how many people from highschool do you still talk to?” “Uhhhh, one or two.” 

One or two. These  people only talk to a couple of people from their graduating class. Then why, pray tell, would I ever waste a Saturday night with a bunch of people that I won’t care to know in a couple of months? Don’t even think about saying, “But Ashley! That’s the entire reason to go! To make memories!” Trust me, I have enough Homecoming memories from freshman year to make up for the past three years of missed dances. In all, this closes the first half of the article, and I’ll see you on Sunday. 

I went to Homecoming. I know! I just spent six paragraphs absolutely ripping the idea of the dance to shreds, but as a Senior Prefect, I promised one of my Form 3 advisees  that I would go to the dance if she did, and maybe it was to inflate my ego or because I subconsciously wanted to pay the dance a visit, so I had to follow through. I’m aware that this is an insane contradiction, and even my laptop is trying to auto correct my first sentence from “Homecoming” to “home.” Right now, I can honestly say that I don’t regret going. I mean, it is my senior year. Sure, the music was atrocious, the dancing was cringy, and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t go. The bar was really low, and Homecoming was just above the bar. I applaud Student Government for doing the best that they could with what they were given (regarding COVID-19 and the rain) but overall I would rate the experience as a 3/10. 

Ending this article on a positive note without lying is going to be hard, so I’ll just say this: make the most out of every single opportunity to have fun at KO. Whether that means going to dances, or staying home, don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. 

With that being said, keep an open mind! You only have four years here, and even though that seems really long, the end does sneak up on you. Live your life how you want to live it (while, of course, being a respectful and kind human being).  If that means you want to skip out on the dances, great! If not, that’s cool too. There is no checklist for the quintessential high school experience. Just take what you can from it, and try not to count the days until graduation (219 at the time I’m writing this, by the way).