The year 2024 has come to a close, and I have decided to be negative, as I so often am, and cover the worst films of last year. While there were plenty of great films last year, like “Anora,” “Nosferatu,” and “The Brutalist,” there is a reason I’m covering the worst films of last year. Actually, there are three. First off, it is important to look at the worst films in a year to see how films can grow in the future. Secondly, I want to make sure people avoid the stinkers when they look back to see what they missed from last year. And finally, I have a lot less to say about the worst films of last year than the best, and I’ve been told to watch my word count. So let’s begin the list with the least bad worst film of the year:
“Megalopolis”
“Megalopolis,” directed by Francis Ford Coppola (yes the same guy who directed “The Godfather”), is the least bad worst movie of last year. Why is that? Well, unlike a lot of the other films on this list, it’s actually competently made. The shots are well-composed, and the sets are nothing short of amazing. The score is nice on the ears, and the actors are doing a fine job for what it’s worth. Where this movie falters is in its plot.
“Megalopolis” is an epic, similar to “The Godfather,” but its problem is that it’s way too complicated. It’s three hours long and has about 80 different plot threads you need to follow to make any sense of the story. The characters, while well-acted, are insane, and not in a good way. None of the actions they take make any real sense. I remember reading the synopsis of this film and learning about how it focuses on an architect trying to rebuild a city like New York after a huge disaster, but that disaster takes place about two hours into the movie, and it feels like it doesn’t affect the plot at all.
There is one other reason this film is the best of the worst, and that is because the movie was hilarious to watch. Some of the lines in this film are nothing short of comedy gold, and while some may tell you that was the point, it was pretty clear that at least a few were meant to be taken seriously. Anyway, this movie is bad, but it’s not that bad. Let’s take it down a level, with another not-that-bad film:
“Despicable Me 4”
I honestly don’t have much to say about this film. Illumination makes extremely well-animated films, but their film plots are the most banal ever conceived and this movie is no different. I think I laughed at a few of Gru’s jokes, but that’s it. Similar to “Megalopolis,” this movie is really poorly plotted out, and the minions are the absolute worst creations known to man. Honestly, though, what do you expect from a “Despicable Me” film? If you really want to watch any of these films, watch the first one. The minions aren’t too annoying, and there’s actually a cohesive plot with an okay character arc.
The reason this movie isn’t any lower on the list is because honestly, it’s really inoffensive. It’s fine; it could have been way worse. From this point on, the movies on this list are movies I actually despise, so let’s start this descend deeper into movie hell with:
“IF”
When I first watched “IF,” I thought it was just as inoffensive as “Despicable Me 4.” But as I looked back at the film, I began to hate it more and more. The concept makes for a fun idea, especially for a kids’ movie: a child who can see imaginary friends, and is trying to help the world get its imagination back. The best parts of the film embrace this, but most of this film focuses on poor attempts at comedy, mixed with poorly-placed song queues.
Both Ryan Reynolds and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are fine in their roles, but Steve Carell is absolutely horrendous. None of his jokes work, and the character as a whole is just so annoying. A lot of the film feels like a drive to get to the celebrity cameos, and the cameos are just terrible; they actively make the film so much worse. This movie could have been quite good, but it’s not. Yet, it still isn’t close to the worst films of the year—let’s go from pure disappointment to rage with this next film:
“Mean Girls” (the musical remake)
I hate this film with a burning passion. There are a few reasons for my fury. Firstly, it’s unfunny. Almost all the new jokes from this film are the absolute worst, and even the jokes they recycled from the original for this remake are somehow worse. Secondly, the songs are terrible. Besides “Revenge Party,” they all feel like overproduced pop songs with really bad choreography. It’s not helped by my third reason for hating this film: its terrible cast. Sure there are exceptions—Reneé Rap did a great job—but actors like Angourie Rice pulled off possibly the worst acting jobs of the year. To start, a lot of them aren’t good singers, so they make the songs even worse than they already are, but also their delivery makes the film comedic, just not in the way I think they intended.
There is one final reason why I hate this film: why would you ever watch this over the original? The original “Mean Girls” is iconic for a reason; it is easily one of the best comedies ever created. This remake is a pale imitation that isn’t worth being named in the same breath as the original. Never watch this film—watch the original, I implore you. This film is probably my actual least favorite film of last year, but there is one that is overall a much worse product than this movie and that film is:
“Madame Web”
“Madame Web” is easily the worst comic book movie ever put to film. Literally, nothing works with this movie. The writing is the absolute worst; there are so many plot holes, from a character traveling to the Amazon and back to New York City in less than three hours (mind you this character is on the run from the cops when she does this), to the villain’s plan just not making any sense. The acting borders on comical with how bad it gets. Any line delivery by Dakota Johnson is absolutely ridiculous, but the real standout was Tahar Rahim, whose ADR is so bad that it sounds like his character is a ghost speaking through the meat vessel of Tahar Rahim’s body.
Despite the ridiculous acting, the film is actually extremely boring. There are no good fight scenes. The weird shooting of the film makes it feel almost otherworldly, but in a bad way. It’s supposed to take place in the 2000s, but there’s nothing in the film that actually anchors it in that time period. There’s almost nothing interesting about this film, and that’s the movie’s cardinal sin. I am of the opinion that a boring film is much worse than a bad film because at least a bad film makes choices that make it as bad as it is. “Mean Girls” made some interesting choices, even though they were all bad; “Madame Web” does not do this.
So, “Madame Web” is the worst film of the year. I do not recommend you watch any of the films on the list, but if you are feeling morbidly curious, watch “Megalopolis” and “Despicable Me 4,” and then if you still don’t get it, watch the others. If you are looking for some actual good films to watch, watch the movies I talked about in the intro, or watch “Conclave,” “Dune: Part 2,” or the best film I watched in the year of 2024, “Casablanca.” Let’s hope that next year, there are fewer bad films released, or that I watch fewer of them. We will see. Until next time KO, I hope you watched better films last year than I did.
