Doors. You go in, you go out. That’s it, right? NO! The doors at KO have such a peculiar
inability to function properly. All buildings across campus have some questionable functionality,
from the brand-new Community Commons to the old-timey Alumni Hall.
Last Place: CT Entrance by the Dance Studio
The entrance to Chase-Tallwood Math Science Technology Center at the end of the math
wing by Mr. Swan’s room and the dance studio is a serious safety hazard. The grate, which was
installed with hopes of it being a good idea, is most definitely not flawless. Many KO students
and faculty members have slipped and even fallen while trying to get to class on time. Any time
there is even a little bit of precipitation, the grate turns from genius to stupidity when a member
of the KO community almost dies.
Sixth Place: Second Floor Seaverns Stairwell by Mr. Martino’s Office
I have two classes in the upstairs of Seaverns, and every single time without fail, I simply
cannot get the door open at the top of the staircase near Upper School English Department Chair
Bill Martino’s office. I genuinely feel bad for Mr. Martino and the whole English department,
who cannot avoid this door. With the spherical door handle, it’s already difficult to grab onto.
Then, you have to turn the handle farther than most, just for it not to be enough to open the door.
All the students from the two classrooms will be standing right behind the door, watching you
make a fool of yourself. Avoidance is the only way to survive that building.
Fifth Place: Robert’s Lobby
Double doors provide maximum security for the school, but the double doors into
Roberts Lobby have to be designed to keep the students out as well. They are super heavy and
always feel suctioned to the door frame. Dig deep inside and muster all the strength, really
engage your knees, and maybe just maybe you’ll be strong enough to get the door open. At least
muscle building can happen outside the gym.
Fourth Place: The Main CT Entrance
The main entrance to CT is so bright, airy, and grand. Too bad you’ll embarrass yourself
getting the doors open. The two sets of doors make it so there is a 50/50 chance of guessing
which door could be unlocked. The left one will be unlocked with the first set, then you grab the
second set’s door handle and stumble backwards. Don’t worry, though! Everyone is, in fact,
watching you. Once you get used to which are unlocked, they’ll switch the next day. KO just
likes to keep us on our toes.
Third Place: Art Room Hallway
Have you ever been walking down a hallway and had to raise your arms above your head
to grab the door handle? Yeah, I haven’t either. That’s what it feels like to open the pointless door
in the hallway between the art rooms. The door handles are so abnormally high that it feels so
awkward. I purposely avoid going to Visual Arts Department Chair Katie Burnett’s room from
Roberts Theater so I never have to use that door. It’s a shame because there is a beautiful mirror
on the other side of the wall. A simple installation mistake ruins this every day.
Second Place: Commons Main Entrance
The advanced technology in the new Community Commons is certainly a treat, but I
can’t help wondering if the automatic doors were a little overboard. Not only are they super
heavy and hard to open, but the automatic feature means that while walking out, the door will
slam right into your face. Extraordinarily annoying to put it simply.
First Place: Lunch Room Doors
The new atrium and its cafe-style seats have a very practical design. They could almost
be a foolproof workspace, but the exasperating squeak on the lunchroom doors prevents anyone
from getting work done. The only times getting work done is a possibility are first and last
periods; otherwise, the different lunch waves will make focusing impossible.
While the doors at KO open and close, they don’t perform outstandingly at all. Overall, I
give them an 83.5%. They get the job done, but they don’t go above or beyond by any means.
